You f___ing censors! Eat s__t and d_e! F___ers! I've had just about ENOUGH of you g_d-d__n m____f___ers f___ing with my m_____f___ing freedom of speech, m____f___ers. You c__ks___ing, m____f___ing piece of s__t m____f___ers need to eat s__t and d_e.

And don't you DARE tell me s__t like, "Yes, but certain language is inappropriate around young children, Bobo." If you were to say that, I would respond with the following: "Yeah, well eat s__t and d_e, you g_d-d__n piece of s__t m____f___ers."

Well... actually, I'd probably just say, "Shut the f___ up." But that's beside the point. Don't you dare try to sidetrack me, m____f___er!

Now I KNOW what you're thinking: "But this is a children's show on public television, Bobo! Our loyal sponsors are what keeps this little station going and they wouldn't stand for this type of dirty-mouthing, bla bla bla!" If you said that, I would be FORCED to state these two things, arranged in order of importance:

1. F___ you in the a__ with a big d___. B____es.

2. Children get exposed to swearing in the home, yet we're not allowed to say c__t-licker on television? What type of HYPOCRITICAL b___s__t is that? Come on!

At this point you SHOULD be seeing it from my point of view and giving me a chance. Because you know I'm right, b____es; my saturday morning program, The Bobo C___s___er Show, would be the best f___ing show ever! It would get higher ratings than any d___ show on the f___ing planet because children would be glued to their sets to see what b___h Bobo was going to f___ this week. And THAT, my friends, would be due, in no small part, to the awesome f___ing power of swearing.

In case you didn't realize, I'll let you in on a little secret: swear words are censored because they are MAGICAL WORDS OF POWER. That's why we find them so f___ing infectuous, and why the censors fear them. Kids would be drawn to The Bobo C___s___er Show like moths to a m____f___ing flame because it harnesses THE POWER. Don't you want to harness THE POWER? I can't believe you don't want to harness THE POWER. That's just plain f___ing wrong.

And have you forgotten? You're ALLOWED to swear on television! The government doesn't regulate us, we SELF-REGULATE! We made the rule, so why not break it and make some f___ing cash money off these candy-a__ brats. It's the AMERICAN WAY. You don't hate AMERICA, do you?

Oh, COME ON. Please? Pretty f___ing please with a f___ing cherry on top and s__t?

Fine. Be that way. But it's not over, not by a f___ing longshot. As long as I am Bobo (and I AM m____f___ing Bobo), I will exercise my God-given RIGHT to swear at any time, in any medium. I will shout c___s___er from the rooftops, I will declare you all a__-f___ing f____ts in the subways, everywhere I am I will declare my motto proud: "f__k you, m____f___ers!!!" And one day I will have my show. It might be on UPN, it might be on public access, but I will have my g__-d__n show and it's going to be f___ing awesome. You'll see.

B____es.

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