Buddha versus Booty
by Justin Bow
For centuries, the Buddha has captured the hearts and minds of the peoples of the world
with his teachings of harmony and with the universe, clean living, and peaceful action.
However, these teachings have never been entirely reconciled with the message sent out daily by the
Booty. Booty is a universal force for funk that can not be ignored. Today, we debate the good
points of the two competing dogmas.
|Following his teachings will make you enlightened so that you transcend this world.
||Will rock your world.
|Nirvana, like Heaven, is a cool place to hang out.
||Should not be hung out in public.
|Meditates in the Lotus position.
||Is good in any position.
|Inspires peace and harmony.
||Inspires bumping and grinding. Also freaking and sweating. Hunh!
|Created the popular dance, The Buddha Shuffle.
||The Mattress Mambo, the Horizontal Polka, the Naked Lambada.
|Leaves floors with a delightful shine.
||Leaves floors with a delightful shine.
|Preaches a message of oneness with the universe.
||Preaches a message of oneness with all the Foxy People!
|Teaches tolerance of others.
||Teaches tolerance of the Funk.
It seems clear that while Buddha has many fine qualities going for him,
in most cases the best choice for you and for me is to forget all of this enlightenment
stuff and just go for the Booty.
Booty. Bringing you ass since time began.
Buddha call!!! Wait, I mean booty.