One day on a cold frosty winter's morning, a boy named Johnny was born.  He grew up in the sleepy town of New York City with his loving parents and his crack-addict younger brother.  Johnny was a dreamer, a young child with dreams, and among the things that this child did when he was asleep, dreaming was definitely one of them.  Johnny dreamed of being a scientist, a painter, even the President of the United States.  But what Johnny really wanted, more than anything in the world, was a piece of ass.

Yes, he wanted ass.  Just one piece of ass.  It wouldn't even have to be a large piece of ass, it could be a little tiny piece of ass and Johnny wouldn't have minded.  At night he would lie awake looking at the moon shining through his bedroom window, and dream of the day where he was old enough to pick up chicks.  Elementary school was a hard time for Johnny, because all the chicks hadn't gone through puberty yet so they all looked like little boys.  Johnny would just have to wait.

But junior high wasn't any better.  Girls were blossoming around this poor lad like dandelions or crabgrass, but nobody paid any attention to poor little Johnny.  Now Johnny could have given up and resigned himself to monkhood or homosexuality, but Johnny was a dreamer and a believer.  He would never let go of The Dream.  Someday, just someday, he said to himself, I will have sexual relations with a woman.

High school came, and Johnny found himself on the dating scene for the first time.  Over a decade he had dreamed of this, and now it was finally going to happen.  But tragedy struck the poor lad in these trying times.  Johnny had made the error of not pursuing women of "loose morals," and despite dating a series of extremely attractive Mormon women he once again found himself without a sweet, loving, consenting sexual partner to shag with his incredibly diminutive penis.  Johnny left high school, his life's dreams shattered.

Then came college, and the miracle happened!  One night at a party some chick got really drunk and let him have sex with her!!!  Johnny was ecstatic!  His life's ambitions had become a reality!  His dreams had finally come true, and Johnny was no longer a virgin!  Everything he had wanted, everything that he had hoped for in life, had come to be.

It was all downhill from there.
 

THE END
 
 
 
 
 

The index is weeping tears.. of blood